CRAIG ROBERTSON

Bad Fog of Loneliness

You know, this journey I’m taking and this blog I’m writing is a great metaphor for life itself. Things are not always positive, or inspirational for that matter. The reality is, sometimes we can get in the way of ourselves.

There are days that I doubt everything. Doubt my decision to leave that job behind. Question my talents. Fear for the future. Watch my money shrink away! (my next blog will focus on money$$)

But I truly believe that all of us have our own share of fears. Don’t you? Doubts can crop up on the best of days and bouts of questioning can send me into a tizzy of disbelief. I’ve realized over the years, that it’s okay to be fearful, doubtful and questioning. It makes us human. The fact is battling through with belief in our own intuition and more importantly, belief in ourselves, is the only way to get through it. It’s not always easy, but it does work.

I love this quote from Alan Alda. It inspires to not take things too seriously, especially ourselves.

“Laugh at yourself, but don’t ever aim your doubt at yourself. Be bold. When you embark for strange places, don’t leave any of yourself safely on shore. Have the nerve to go into unexplored territory.”

Enjoy your moments.

Thanks for reading.

http://www.craigrobertson.ca

This Note’s For You

Well my new album has been released this week. Have to say it’s pretty bloody rewarding getting it out there.

I started the recording sessions three years ago this month at Trent River Studios, just outside of Havelock, Ontario. I went in with four or five songs, a batch of lyrics, a boatful of ideas and a heart full of sadness. I mean my life was not at it’s greatest stage – my folks just passed away, I was going through a break-up and I couldn’t go one weekend without getting drunk and stoned until I couldn’t walk.

You know, booze and dope have a funny way of catching up to you sometimes. I had always liked a good party, and usually got somewhat tipsy every weekend since I was in my early twenties. But I took it to a new level this time around — a case and a half of beer, 2 bottles of wine, a bag of weed and a pile of coke was my weekend intake. I’d start Friday afternoon, wouldn’t stop until Sunday and then I’d go to work. Then I’d start up again the next Friday (sometimes Wednesday or Thursday). Then again. Again. I told myself I could stop. But I never did. Four years later I realized I was numbing some serious pain.

That period in my life seems like a dream now – my dad dying suddenly, my mom suffering through cancer after my dad’s passing, my eventual break-up, the drugs and booze. Even at the time it was happening, it all seemed surreal. I needed catharsis through it (other than the drugs), and so I relied on what I’ve always leaned on …music.

I have always been a creative person, and this void in my life was fueling a new creativity I had never been able to tap into. In the end I’m grateful for going through the tough stuff as I wrote TONS of songs, began to believe in myself as a songwriter and ended up with this record. I know it won’t be for everyone, and as with most creative projects there are things on the album I would change. But, it was a process I had to see through from start until finish, and I’m very proud of the results.

I quit the booze and the drugs two years ago. It took it’s toll on my body (I still have lingering digestive problems) and I still have cravings. But I’m glad to have had those experiences as I’m more grateful for the things I have, more aware of others, hopefully a better songwriter and an even better person. So with the release of the album this week, it feels like a circle has been completed and I can put a lock on that part of my life. But, I’ll never throw away the key because it’s good to peer into that time to realize what I have now.

Thanks for reading. See you next time.

You can check out the lyrics for the album right here http://www.craigrobertson.ca

Dreamin’ Man

Have you ever wanted to get out of bed each day and do exactly what you wanted to do? When motivation is linked to your passion in life? Write a book? Take cooking classes? Study economics? Work as a musician?

It’s been one month after leaving my radio career to pursue a lifelong dream of songwriting and making music. And what a motivating month it has been …

I’ve done more to invest in myself the past thirty days than in the past 2 years! I’ve made industry contacts, met with musicians, played gigs, booked gigs, been in the studio recording a new album, booked future recording sessions, been hired as a session player, rehearsals, updated social media, written press releases, written MORE songs and recorded MORE demos! It’s been busy, but time well spent.

Have I made any money? Nope. But right now that’s okay as I knew I wouldn’t be making any anyways. I’m planting seeds for a future and making plans for the present.

Honestly, making this life decision has been a swift kick in the pants. There is nothing more motivating than knowing this is the new path you’ve chosen (especially at 45 years old!!). It’s been a very moving experience and has charged my soul to plow ahead.

I often think about the future during this process. Will I be successful? How will things turn out? But I always come back to what my wife recently told me : that success is in the doing. By simply writing that book, or taking that cooking class or studying economics or being a musician, you’re already a success.

Who knows what the future holds? Who knows where we’ll all be in one year, one month or even tomorrow? So, let’s enjoy today and be motivated to be what we want.

Thanks for reading. See you next time.

Walk On

Ever have a dream to do something with your life? To pursue a passion? To fulfill a lifelong fantasy?

Ever have doubts about it? Afraid of the unknown? Fear of giving up your established life as you know it? Scared of what people might say?

This is the first post on my blog Expecting to Fly, where I will chronicle my journey into pursuing a lifelong dream. It was a choice I made, a choice we all can make. Choices that will create the life we want. After all, it is your life to create.

My name is Craig Robertson. I am 45 years old. I live in Toronto. I have a house, a great marriage, many friends and a loving family. I live in a nice neighbourhood, with parks and walking trails and all the amenities you could need at your fingertips. Like most of us, I have bills to pay, a mortgage to worry about, groceries to buy, a car to pay for and home repairs to save up for.

I also had great job – a successful radio morning host broadcasting to the Greater Toronto Area. I got up in the morning, spun some great music, had a few laughs. I got to meet many famous musicians, interviewed hundreds of celebrities, got free concert tickets, free this, free that.

Yet, I wasn’t fulfilled. I always knew something was missing. Something that had lingered in the back of my mind for years.

So, I finally did something about it.

In early December, 2012 I quit my job. It took a lot of thought and debate and worry and conversation and fear and doubt and decision to do it. It wasn’t a ‘snap’ call. I thought about it the better part of twenty years. And when the time came to actually do it, I was scared senseless.

There are so many things to ponder – giving up an established career, a gap in your resume, the unknown of well, the unknown, and of course money. But a good friend told me “you’ll always find a way, things will work themselves out”. I guess I’ll find out.

You see, my lifelong dream was to pursue a songwriting career. I’d been writing songs since I was 13 years old and the dream to write songs professionally never left me. The dream was there in my twenties when I was going to radio school. The dream was alive in my thirties when I was fast-tracking my radio career. The dream was still there in my forties when I was established in a radio career. The dream never died. And I surely didn’t want it to die with me.

So here I am writing the first post on my blog called Expecting to Fly, my leap into a new life path. I hope it will inspire and shed some light. I hope you enjoy the journey.